While farts can sometimes be an indication of an underline gastrological disturbance, farting on its own is not physically dangerous to you or other people.

That said it is possible for you to become so upset and disturbed at your own farts that you become suicidal.

If you feel like ending your own life after a bad fart, just hang on. Farts don’t last forever. It will clear quickly.

You can help alleviate the smell by opening as many windows as possible and turning on the air conditioning. If you’re still feeling desperate run to your neighbour’s house and explain what happened along with your suicidal feelings. If they fail to understand or empathize with your situation then you can legally shit on their doorstep with no fears of legal repercussions.

Remember to stay calm and to move as far away from the fart as possible. You might want to cordon off the area with Police Tape lest anyone else walks into your death zone and contemplates ending their own life after sampling your fumes.