Whoever thought up the idea that farting makes you lose weight is retarded. I’m a testimony to this, I’m clinically obese and I fart at least 500 times a day. By their logic I should be thinner than anything that’s ever emerged from Somalia.

I really wish it was true as it would make weight loss so easy. Everyone would be indulging in cheese, beans and beer all day long and they’d be shedding the pounds like Tom Hanks in Philadelphia.

Shitting only helps you lose weight temporarily too, so if you’re thinking of using laxatives to help lose weight then it won’t help. The only tried and tested way to shed the pounds is to burn more calories than you consume through a calorie controlled diet along with exercise.

Perhaps one day one genius will formulate a way that you can lose weight through farting. I’d seriously be in heaven.